Errors to avoid when counselling

Text Job 34, 35 Time 13/07/03 Place Childs Hill Baptist Church

I remember once seeing a comedy sketch featuring a supposed football match between Greek and German philosophers of old. It was a surreal piece of nonsense. You had people dressed up in flowing togas as Socrates, Plato, Pythagoras, etc, on one side, then men dressed in 18th and 19th Century costume representing Kant, Hegel, Nietszsche, etc, on the other. There was a football but there was no activity to speak of. All the philosophers, to a man, were simply thinking about what to do. The most boring match you could imagine. Then suddenly there is a substitution on the German side and they bring Karl Marx on. Marx is full of enthusiasm and runs round like a mad thing but never actually kicks the ball. He then simply falls into the thinking mode of all the others on the pitch.
I mention this because I think it well illustrates the role that Elihu seems to play here in the Book of Job. You know how the Book of Job begins with Job and his troubles and then proceeds with a series of speeches from his three so-called fiends. Elihu is a young man who is present throughout but doesn’t say anything until Chapter 32. And when he does he is like this Karl Marx figure, full of energy and running everywhere. But he soon slows down and falls into the same old routine as seen in the others.
We looked last week at Chapters 32, 33 and the beginning of his 6 chapter long series of speeches. We noted several good characteristics that seemed to display themselves at first – Elihu seems to be a good listener; courteous but passionate and boldly direct in speech; one who gave glory to God; showing a good measure of fairness and humility. We ought to be like that. We saw too how he tried to deal with Job’s complaints – that God wasn’t being fair; that he wasn’t answering his prayers and that no-one understood him. Elihu especially stressed that God was indeed speaking to him. In fact, he was speaking through his very suffering. Now that is far from being the whole answer to suffering but it’s an insight that none of the others seems to have had. As far as they were concerned, the fact that Job was suffering must be due to sin. If there was no obvious sin it must be a secret sin – and in light of Job’s troubles, clearly something very bad. Well, Elihu doesn’t go down that path, at least at first. Sadly, after his promising beginning, however, things go down hill. It is Chapters 34, 35 that I want us to concentrate on today, Elihu’s third and fourth speeches.
These speeches follow the pattern set in the first, in that Elihu quotes (or misquotes) Job and then goes on to deal with the arguments he has raised or is supposed to have raised. Sadly, the compassion of the first speech seems to have disappeared. Taken up with his own rhetoric and the fact he has the ear of others, Elihu becomes rather cold and analytical. He even repeats the charges already made by the others that we know are false. When it comes to suffering we tend to think first of our own sufferings but we must think too of how we’re going to help others in their troubles. There are several lessons for us to learn here about counselling those who suffer or are in trouble, by way of negative example.
1. When seeking to help those in trouble don’t have too high opinion of your own human wisdom
Elihu begins as before by asking for attention to what he has to say. Verses 2-4 Hear my words, you wise men; he says listen to me, you men of learning. For the ear tests words as the tongue tastes food. Let us discern for ourselves what is right; let us learn together what is good. Elihu believed that Job’s problem could be solved through human wisdom. He thought he had the answer and that anyone wise would see that he did. Yet for all his rhetoric he was only trotting out old arguments that we know are wrong because we are told so at the very beginning of the book. Elihu had spoken very humbly before (33:6) I am just like you before God; I too have been taken from clay but that seems to have been forgotten. We dare not forget our lack of wisdom if we are going to help those in need. Let’s avoid attitudes that say ‘Hey, you’re in trouble but don’t worry, I’m here. I’ll sort it out for you. Just listen to me and I’ll have you sorted out in no time.’ That is human arrogance and pride. It is misplaced.
2. When seeking to help those in trouble don’t be unfair to them
Elihu goes on to quote Job as saying (5, 6) I am innocent, but God denies me justice. Although I am right, I am considered a liar; although I am guiltless, his arrow inflicts an incurable wound. This is probably fair enough. Job had said these sorts of things. However, Elihu goes on to say (7, 8) What man is like Job, who drinks scorn like water? He keeps company with evildoers; he associates with wicked men. This sounds like the three friends again. What has prompted this vitriol? Verse 9 For he says, It profits a man nothing when he tries to please God. This is really unfair. This is not what Job was saying. Job had said that the wicked say (Job 21:14,1 5) Leave us alone! We have no desire to know your ways. Who is the Almighty, that we should serve him? What would we gain by praying to him? But he himself did not take that view.
A lesson we can learn here then is on how to quote people. We must be accurate. We must keep in mind the context. We must regard the state they were in when they spoke too. Job does say regrettable things – but it is not surprising when you think about it. We certainly must avoid the argument that says ‘the implication of what you say is …’ and then claim that is what the person is advocating. Let’s learn not to throw back things in the faces of those who suffer, trying to pick them up on what they’ve said. Sometimes it is appropriate to reason with people in trouble and point out logical inconsistencies but not always.
3. When seeking to help those in trouble don’t misapply doctrine
Having created this straw man, Elihu proceeds to demolish it with arguments that, though no doubt true, are not the answer to Job’s problems. Indeed they are things that Job fully agreed with. He begins (10) So listen to me, you men of understanding. He is not focused on Job but on proving his point. That is a mistake we must always avoid in counselling. He goes on Far be it from God to do evil, from the Almighty to do wrong. God is just (11) He repays a man for what he has done; he brings upon him what his conduct deserves. This follows from the fact that he is perfect in every way. As he says (12) It is unthinkable that God would do wrong, that the Almighty would pervert justice. God is the Creator and Sustainer of all things (13-15) Who appointed him over the earth? Who put him in charge of the whole world? If it were his intention and he withdrew his spirit and breath, all mankind would perish together and man would return to the dust.
God is the Almighty and he uses his power to bring about justice in his world. 16-20 If you have understanding, hear this; listen to what I say. Can he who hates justice govern? Will you condemn the just and mighty One? Is he not the One who says to kings, You are worthless, and to nobles, You are wicked, who shows no partiality to princes and does not favour the rich over the poor, for they are all the work of his hands. They die in an instant, in the middle of the night; the people are shaken and they pass away; the mighty are removed without human hand.
There’s more. God is omniscient. He knows all things. (21-23) His eyes are on the ways of men; he sees their every step. There is no dark place, no deep shadow, where evildoers can hide. God has no need to examine men further, that they should come before him for judgment.
He is also omnipotent (24-26) Without enquiry he shatters the mighty and sets up others in their place. Because he takes note of their deeds, he overthrows them in the night and they are crushed.
All this demonstrates that God must be holy and just. 26-28 He punishes them for their wickedness where everyone can see them, because they turned from following him and had no regard for any of his ways. They caused the cry of the poor to come before him, so that he heard the cry of the needy.
He adds But if he remains silent, who can condemn him? If he hides his face, who can see him? Yet he is over man and nation alike, to keep a godless man from ruling, from laying snares for the people. These verses could be taken in more than one way but the emphasis is again on God’s sovereignty. He rules. He governs his world justly.
So God is sovereign, omniscient and omnipotent, almighty. He is holy and just, perfect and fair. These are all truths that could be supported from many places in Scripture. If you have doubts about these truths you have no need for such doubts. But was this what Job needed to hear?
Here is Jed. He’s a believer but his young wife has just died. So Eric wants to comfort Jed and so he says ‘Don’t worry Jed. God is in control. He is working this out for his glory.’ Now that is true, of course, but it is unlikely that is the truth that Jed needs to hear at that moment. It is only an insensitive and unthinking sort of person who would think that this is going to help anyone. Yes, God is sovereign. He is in control of all that happens. Nothing happens except by his will. But that does not mean that we always understand why he does what he does. Many things are a mystery to us. We do not know why he allows many of things that he does. We do not rebel and say God is unjust or that things are out of his control. Rather we humble ourselves before him and we say The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised (Job 1:21).
4. When seeking to help those in trouble don’t misapply a word a practical exhortation
Having given us the benefit of his doctrinal knowledge, Elihu next begins to tell Job what to do. Verses 31-33 are difficult verses to understand for various reasons. The NIV has Elihu saying Suppose a man says to God, I am guilty but will offend no more. Teach me what I cannot see; if I have done wrong, I will not do so again. He then says to Job Should God then reward you on your terms, when you refuse to repent? You must decide, not I; so tell me what you know. Elihu feels, like the others that Job is suffering for something he has done wrong. His new so called insight is that this is not something that happened before the suffering but the bad reaction to the suffering itself. The way out of it, therefore, is repentance. Surely Job realises that is what God wants?
Elihu then appeals to his ‘wise’ audience (34-37) Men of understanding declare, wise men who hear me say to me, in other words ‘anyone with any brains will agree with me’ Job speaks without knowledge; his words lack insight. He’s got it all wrong. And then in rather vitriolic words Oh, that Job might be tested to the utmost for answering like a wicked man! To his sin he adds rebellion; scornfully he claps his hands among us and multiplies his words against God. Job is a rebel, says Elihu, he deserves all he gets and it ought to stay like this if he won’t repent!
So here is something else not to do seeking to hep others. And yet it is something that most of us have probably fallen into. I think the problem is that we’re all sinners, we’re all rebels and we all need to repent everyday. Therefore when someone’s in trouble we tend to think they must deserve at least to some extent and so we are tempted to urge repentance on them or something equally inappropriate such as more faith or more a patience or more thinking about others. Imagine the scene. Jill has cancer and is pretty ill with it. Edna goes to see her. Now Edna is sure that if Jill was more repentant for her sins then God would take the cancer away and so she broaches the subject. ‘Are you really sorry for all your sins, Jill?’ she says ‘Are you sure you’re really repenting? I’m sure that if you really repented God would take this cancer away?’. Would that help Jill? Somehow, I think not. It’s the same when people trot out the line that the problem is lack of faith. ‘If you had more faith, all would be well’ they say. Would it? Let’s avoid misapplied exhortations. Yes, we all need to repent from our sins and put faith in Christ more and more but that’s true of those who are not suffering as well as those who are.
5. When seeking to help those in trouble don’t overstate a doctrine and so distort it
In the third speech, which is in Chapter 35, Elihu again begins by quoting Job. 2, 3 Do you think this is just? he says You say, I shall be cleared by God. Yet you ask him, What profit is it to me, and what do I gain by not sinning? He also sums up what he thinks Job has said in Chapters 14 and 15 you say that you do not see him, that your case is before him and you must wait for him, and further, that his anger never punishes and he does not take the least notice of wickedness. Again this is not exactly what Job had said. Nevertheless, Elihu goes on to attempt to answer these related questions that he has partly touched upon before – what difference does it make to God whether a man sins or not and why does he appear not to answer the prayers of those in need?
Elihu begins I would like to reply to you and to your friends with you. He is still playing to the gallery. He has his eye not on Job but on others who are listening too. That in itself is a major failure. In answer to the question of what difference it makes to God whether a man sins or not he says (5) Look up at the heavens and see; gaze at the clouds so high above you. God is way above us. He is far from us in greatness and glory. And so he asks (6-8) If you sin, how does that affect him? If your sins are many, what does that do to him? If you are righteous, what do you give to him, or what does he receive from your hand? Your wickedness affects only a man like yourself, and your righteousness only the sons of men. The argument is a commonplace one and is not new. We heard the same thing from Eliphaz back in 22:2, 3 Can a man be of benefit to God? Can even a wise man benefit him? What pleasure would it give the Almighty if you were righteous? What would he gain if your ways were blameless?
The main problem with it is that it is an overstatement. Yes, we must accept the transcendence of God. God is in heaven and you are on earth. In Isaiah 55:8, 9 we read For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. We must recognize that God is high and lifted up and compared with him, we are nothing at all. However, we must not confuse transcendence and indifference. It is often useful to think of parents and children in this respect. Here are little children playing with cars and dolls and other toys. They are very interested in them. What about their parents, are they interested in them? Not really. Well, not in the way that the children are. They don’t mind if the red car is faster than the blue car or if dolly wears the green outfit or the white one. Are thy then indifferent to what the children are doing? Not at all. They are very interested. So it is with God. Can your sins affect God? Does it make a difference whether you are good? In the absolute sense, no. Yet to say God is indifferent would be very wrong. Elihu is badly mistaken. Isaiah 57:15 says it clearly For this is what the high and lofty One says - he who lives for ever, whose name is holy: I live in a high and holy place, but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite. That is the right perspective. It should be ours too. Doesn’t the coming of Christ and the cross teach us that?
6. When seeking to help those in trouble don’t misjudge people
The second question Elihu attempts to deal with is why God appears not to answer the prayers of those in need. His answer is a simplistic one. 9-13 Men cry out under a load of oppression; he says they plead for relief from the arm of the powerful. But no-one says, Where is God my Maker, who gives songs in the night, who teaches more to us than to the beasts of the earth and makes us wiser than the birds of the air? He does not answer when men cry out because of the arrogance of the wicked. Indeed, God does not listen to their empty plea; the Almighty pays no attention to it. People cry out, he says, they demand relief, but they’re not really praying to God. Their pride stands in the way. He turns to Job and he says (14-16) How much less, then, will he listen when you say that you do not see him, that your case is before him and you must wait for him, and further, that his anger never punishes and he does not take the least notice of wickedness. So Job opens his mouth with empty talk; without knowledge he multiplies words. If Job did a bit more real praying and a little less belly aching then may be he wouldn’t have the troubles he does have!
Again you can imagine how insensitive and unhelpful such an approach would be. Here is Jackie. Jackie was born with a debilitating disease that cannot be cured but Jackie is a Christian and has gained great comfort from trusting in Christ. However, in more recent years Jackie has been very down and is finding it more difficult than ever. Prayer seems to be no help. There seems to be no response from God. So along comes Eryl to try and help. ‘The problem is that you can’t really be praying. Yes, I know you say your prayers but that’s not the same as praying. If you spent more time trying to pray than moaning about your situation I’m sure your problems would all be over.’ Yes, you can see that even if it were true it would not work. There is such a thing as saying prayers rather than praying. However, it will not explain the problem of suffering. There are people who want to say that when people are not healed it is probably a lack of faith. They’re not really praying or they are not praying hard enough or often enough. Such ideas show a great deal of misunderstanding about suffering and about prayer.
So when we endeavour to help those who are in trouble, these are good things to keep in mind –
Make sure your wisdom is from heaven not from earth; be fair to those who are in trouble; use doctrine and practical exhortations, but make sure they are appropriate and make sure that you keep a proper balance; assume the best of the person you are seeking to help. There may be a problem with a lack of faith or repentance but do not assume that is it. Above all look to the Lord Jesus Christ and learn from him to be compassionate and caring. May God use us to help the needy and may the Holy Spirit the Great Comforter use us to comfort others through him.