Love - Not a vague thing but definable 1
Text 1 Corinthians 13:4 Time 21/09/14 Place Childs Hill Baptist Church
Love me do, PS I love you, She loves you, Can't buy me love, And I
love her, You've got to hide your love away, It's only love, All you
need is love.
They're all titles of Beatles songs from the 1960s. It
has been calculated that The Beatles used the word love 613 times
altogether in their songs (more than any other word but the, a, and,
me, I and you!) In 1965 they had a song that went
Say the word and
you'll be free
Say the word and be like me
Say the word I'm thinking of
Have you heard the word is love?
It's so fine, It's sunshine
It's the word, love …
Say the word and be like me
Say the word I'm thinking of
Have you heard the word is love?
It's so fine, It's sunshine
It's the word, love …
Give
the word a chance to say
That the word is just the way
It's the word I'm thinking of
And the only word is love
It's so fine, It's sunshine
It's the word, love - Say the word, love (4 times)
That the word is just the way
It's the word I'm thinking of
And the only word is love
It's so fine, It's sunshine
It's the word, love - Say the word, love (4 times)
I
mention this as an example of how love is such an important subject
to so many people. I could make the same point from the current Top
40 almost as well (I know as I have checked).
We've
begun to look at 1 Corinthians 13, the famous New Testament chapter
about love. We just looked at
the first three verses last time. You may remember how we used the
illustration of
A woman making cupcakes. She gets the butter, the sugar, the
flour, the eggs and a little salt and flavouring and follows the
recipe carefully but the cupcakes come out completely flat. Why?
Because she didn't put any baking powder in! She missed out an
essential, a vital ingredient.
And so there are Christians and they may be very clever and they may
have many talents. They seem to work hard and seem to be very active
and in many ways are very spiritual. But there is something missing.
Everything is flat, as it were, because they lack the essential, the
vital ingredient of love. All the ingredients are there bar one.
Love then is essential. But that raises the question of what exactly
we mean by love.
Some of you will remember the famous 1981 TV interview with the
newly engaged Prince Charles and Diana. Near the end of the
interview the interviewer says “And I suppose in love”. Diana
says “of course” but Charles says “whatever in
love
means”, which proved to be more than interesting given what came
out subsequently and what happened in that failed marriage.
Prince
Charles is often derided for not knowing what “in love” meant
but there are no doubt many other people who would be hard pushed to
define love or would even take the view that you can't define it.
Some would make the definition so broad that you could never come to
an end of it. One woman made a living producing cartoons, that first
appeared in the seventies, all containing a statement beginning Love
is ….
Eg “Love is all about communication … taking one day at a time …
when you never want to let go …” and most famously “… never
having to say sorry.”
Western philosophy is interested in defining love. It often does so
in psychological, evolutionary, naturalistic or mystical terms.
People often (rightly) want to differentiate between physical,
emotional and spiritual love.
Now
Paul does not really give us a dictionary definition of love here in
1 Corinthians 13 but he does tell us quite a bit about what he (the
inspired apostle) understands love to be. If you heard the apostle
say If I speak in
the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a
resounding gong or a clanging cymbal and
turned to him (Prince-Charles-like) and said “Ah but Paul, what is
love?” he would have none of it. In verses 4-7 he says some 15
things about love, personifying it to bring it alive - Love
is patient, love is kind he
says. That's the sort of person we can say is a loving person. He
says of love It does not envy, it does not boast, it
is not proud
and goes on (5-7)
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it
keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but
rejoices with the truth. It
always protects, always trusts, etc.
So away with any idea of love being some vague mystical, undefinable
idea, some airy fairy notion. No, it is very definite, very
practical.
Today we will just consider what Paul says in verse 4, where we find
some five statements on the subject. The first two are positive, the
second three are negative. It is good to examine ourselves in the
light of these observations and ask ourselves whether we are truly
characterised by love in our interactions with others. So
1.
Two positive things that always characterise true love. Are they
seen in you?
1.
Love is always patient – are you?
Paul's
first statement is that Love is patient. More
literally, it is longsuffering or persevering. This suggests love
even when there is a lot of provocation and when it goes on for some
time. One paraphrase says “love is never tired of waiting”. Paul
does not say Patience is love. People can be patient for various
reasons – trying to catch a fish, waiting for a parcel. Patience
is not always loving but love is always patient. This means that
when people hurt us or there are afflictions
from God's hand the loving person goes on loving. People may mock
him or persecute him but he still loves, for the sake of Christ and
his gospel, just as Jesus himself did. Such a person is slow to get
angry when he is abused. He is not quick to be resentful. He is not
eager for revenge when he is insulted. He does not resent being
provoked. He is marked by forbearance, longsuffering, patience. He
keeps loving and is always ready to forgive. He does not get
agitated about things either. He is willing to let things go.
A great example of persevering love for us is William Carey, the
great pioneer missionary to India. His sister once said of him that
whatever he began, he
finished. Difficulties never discouraged him. His brother noted how
he was ‘determined never to give up a particle of anything on
which his mind was set ... He was neither diverted by allurements
nor driven from its search by ridicule or threats’. In a famous
statement Carey himself wrote, ‘I can plod. That is my only
genius. I can persevere in any definite pursuit. To this I owe
everything.’
This
was a feature of his life at many points.
First,
there was his plod to get the whole mission to India off the ground.
It is difficult to appreciate, at this distance in time, what a task
it was to share his vision. Andrew Fuller remembered how Carey’s
‘heart burned incessantly with desire for the salvation of the
heathen’. By 1788, he had already attempted to write a pamphlet
setting out his arguments for bringing the gospel to the heathen.
However, he felt incompetent to finish it and had no way of getting
it published, anyway. He unsuccessfully tried to persuade others to
write. Eventually his famous Enquiry
appeared in 1792, the year he preached his equally famous sermon
Expect great things from God,
attempt great things for God from
Isaiah 54. The ministers met the next morning and he was determined
not to let another opportunity pass. ‘Is there nothing again going
to be done, sir?’ he asked, gripping Fuller’s arm. At last
persistence paid off. That day the Particular Baptist Missionary
Society was formed.
Then,
even when he reached India, it was nearly seven years before the
first convert, Krishna Pal was baptised at the end of 1800. Sadly,
many missionaries today would already have given up well before that
point.
Over
the years, besides a host of other work, Carey translated the Bible
into Bengali, Ooriya, Hindi, Marathi and Sanskrit. How did he do it
all in that strength-sapping heat? From the time they reached India,
his wife, Dorothy, was in a fragile mental state. There were also
deaths (including his young son in 1794), many disappointments, a
breach with the Society back home and many set-backs. Through it all
he learned, in his own words, the need ‘of bearing up in the
things of God against wind and tide’.
In
1812, a particularly devastating blow struck. The printing house
accidentally burned down. Paper, new type, irreplaceable manuscripts
- all were lost. His reaction is exemplary. ‘In one night the
labours of years are consumed. How unsearchable are the divine ways
... The Lord has laid me low that I might look more simply to Him.’
That Sunday he preached from Psalm 46 on God’s right to do his
will, and our duty to acquiesce. He wrote to Fuller, ‘The ground
must be laboured over again, but we are not discouraged ... God has
a sovereign right to dispose of us as He pleases.’
And what about us? Are we persevering in doing good? Do we refuse to
get tired of waiting when things seem to be against us? If we are
then we have some idea of love. If not, we have reason to question
whether we love at all. Persevering
love is something we need today. It imitates God and shows how
thankful we are to him. If we love God it will humble us and make us
more ready to bear injuries. We will tend to see God's hand in our
troubles too. This sort of meekness shows, as Jonathan Edwards puts
it, true greatness of soul.
2.
Love is always kind – are you?
Paul
also says that love is kind.
The
word Paul uses is very like the word for Christ. It is a rare word
and Paul may have made it up in this form. The idea is of being kind
to someone, making yourself useful to them. Tyndale uses the word
courteous.
Again kindness is not love but love will always be kind. Love is
good-natured,
gentle, tender, affectionate.
It is benign, well-disposed to others.
You know the name Barnardo. Dr Barnardo's is still a well known charity today. It was founded by Dublin born Thomas John Barnardo, who appears to have been a true evangelical Christian. He was born in 1845 and when he was 16, he decided he ought to become a medical missionary in China. He moved to London in order to train to be a doctor. He was always known as Dr Barnardo but the truth is that he never actually completed his studies at the London Hospital. During his time in London, Thomas Barnardo became interested in the lives of the poor. He was appalled by the number of people living on the streets of London and he witnessed the horrific effects of cholera, unemployment and overcrowding. He decided to put aside his plans to go to China and opened his first ‘ragged school’ to educate and care for poor orphans in 1867, in the East End. One of his pupils, a boy called Jim Jarvis, took Barnardo on a walk of the East End, showing him the sheer number of poor children sleeping rough. Barnardo was so moved by the sight that he decided to do something about it. In 1870, he opened a home for boys in Stepney Causeway, providing shelter for orphans and destitute children. A sign hang on the building said: ‘No Destitute Child Ever Refused Admission’. He founded the Girls’ Village Home in Barkingside. It consisted of a collection of cottages and was home to 1500 poor girls. During his life Barnardo continued to open institutions that helped to care for poor children. By his death in 1905 it is estimated that his homes and schools cared for over 8000 children in more than 90 different locations.
You know the name Barnardo. Dr Barnardo's is still a well known charity today. It was founded by Dublin born Thomas John Barnardo, who appears to have been a true evangelical Christian. He was born in 1845 and when he was 16, he decided he ought to become a medical missionary in China. He moved to London in order to train to be a doctor. He was always known as Dr Barnardo but the truth is that he never actually completed his studies at the London Hospital. During his time in London, Thomas Barnardo became interested in the lives of the poor. He was appalled by the number of people living on the streets of London and he witnessed the horrific effects of cholera, unemployment and overcrowding. He decided to put aside his plans to go to China and opened his first ‘ragged school’ to educate and care for poor orphans in 1867, in the East End. One of his pupils, a boy called Jim Jarvis, took Barnardo on a walk of the East End, showing him the sheer number of poor children sleeping rough. Barnardo was so moved by the sight that he decided to do something about it. In 1870, he opened a home for boys in Stepney Causeway, providing shelter for orphans and destitute children. A sign hang on the building said: ‘No Destitute Child Ever Refused Admission’. He founded the Girls’ Village Home in Barkingside. It consisted of a collection of cottages and was home to 1500 poor girls. During his life Barnardo continued to open institutions that helped to care for poor children. By his death in 1905 it is estimated that his homes and schools cared for over 8000 children in more than 90 different locations.
This
is an outstanding example of kindness, of course, but one that could
be duplicated many times over in others. Kindness does not always
lead to something big but it does mean to say that an attempt is
made to help those in need.
Do
you know those wonderful words in 1 John 3:16-18 This
is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.
And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. If
anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need
but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person?
Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions
and in truth.
What about us then? Are we kind people? Are we eager to make
ourselves useful to others? If we are then we have some idea about
what love is. If not, we have reason to question whether we love at
all.
Secondly,
I want us to consider three negatives
1.
Love is never envious – Are you?
Paul
says of love It does not
envy. It
does not get jealous of others. You can't love if you are busy
envying others and thinking about what they've got. Love is about
other people not about you.
The nineteenth century Scots preacher Andrew Bonar kept a diary that was published
after his death. In one place he writes "This day 20 years ago
I preached for the first time as an ordained minister. It is amazing
that the Lord has spared me and used me at all. I have no reason to
wonder that He used others far more than He does me. Yet envy is my
hurt, and today I have been seeking grace to rejoice exceedingly
over the usefulness of others, even where it cast me into the shade.
Lord, take away this envy from me!"
F
B Meyer had the same feelings when he saw how successful G Campbell
Morgan was when he followed him at a big conference. "The
only way I can conquer my feelings” he confessed “is to pray for
Morgan daily, which I do."
In
1 John 3:10b-12 we read Anyone
who does not do what is right is not God's child, nor is anyone who
does not love his brother. For
this is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one
another. Do not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one and
murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? It
was put of envy. Because
his own actions were evil and his brother's were righteous.
Many a minister who is honest will tell you the same thing. When he
hears of success in another church a little part of him is envious.
He wishes it was him. And the people are not that different to their
ministers. The temptation to envy others their successes is often
there. It is not consistent with love though, is it? How can it be?
2.
Love never boasts – Do you?
In 2007 a cartoon movie came out called Surf's
up. It
was a spoof on surf documentaries. One of the characters is a
penguin called Tank “the shredder” Evans. In one scene Tank
boasts about his success. The interviewer asks him what he likes
about surfing. Tank is straight out with it
What
is it about surfing that you love?
I
love being the centre of attention … because it's really where I
should be.”
Then
he says
“And
I love the looks my ladies give me, you know? The little glint. I
love that. I love holding the ladies. - You know what I'm talking
about? - I think so.”
“Sort
of” says the interviewer. Tank then takes him behind a curtain to
see his ladies.
“Come
with me” says Tank “Put this curtain in myself. These are my
ladies. This is Jill. This is my lady, Amy. Little Suzie. Briana. -
You know why we call her Briana? - No. It's a long story. Shaniqua.
Helga. Miss Kitty. Jeannie. I dream of ... Theresa. … This spot?
This spot is for my special lady, Lia. I'm gonna say that one more
time. Lia. Oh, yeah. That's a sweet, sweet lady.”
Now
all the while he is not talking about women but trophies.
He
is finally interrupted by his mother shouting “Tank! Are you
polishing your trophies again?”.
This
is parody, of course, but there are some people who do more boasting
than they do loving.
It
does not boast. Love
and showing off are inconsistent. Love never has a “hey look at
me” attitude. It doesn't brag. Again, it just won't work. Love is
all about someone else whereas boasting or bragging is all about
pushing yourself forward. The two are incompatible.
Way
back in Chapter 1 of this letter Paul had said to them (1:26-29)
Brothers, think
of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by
human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble
birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the
wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.
God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things -
and the things that are not - to nullify the things that are, so
that no one may boast before him.
Here
he reminds them that where there is love boasting is out of place.
If we are boastful then we are not going to love.
3.
Love is never proud – Are you?
The
third and final negative is that
it is not proud. It
isn't puffed up with itself. One may not boast or show off but one
can still be proud on the inside. This is no more consistent with
love than the former because once again it is all about me and not
about others.
Let's consider then. Are we arrogant and self promoting or are we
those who truly love as we ought to in Christ.
1. Are we being patient with one another?
2. Are we being kind to one another?
3. Let's not envy one another
4. Let's not be boastful or proud – this is always inimical to love.
Let me close by quoting to you again from 1 John (2:7-11, 4:7-12)
Dear
friends, I am not writing you a new command but an old one, which you
have had since the beginning. This old command is the message you
have heard. Yet I am writing you a new command; its truth is seen in
him and in you, because the darkness is passing and the true light is
already shining. Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a
brother or sister is still in the darkness. Anyone who loves their
brother and sister lives in the light, and there is nothing in them
to make them stumble. But anyone who hates a brother or sister is in
the darkness and walks around in the darkness. They do not know where
they are going, because the darkness has blinded them. … Dear
friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone
who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever
does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God
showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world
that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God,
but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our
sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one
another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God
lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
